Monday, July 26, 2021
.leaving. @July 26, 2021
"Alice, stop running!"
I ignore the voice behind me and keeps on running. I can hear the steps getting close and suddenly, I feel a hand grabbing me and turning my whole body to face her. I sighed and look at the floor.
"Why do you keep doing this?" she asked, trying to catch her own breath.
"Doing what?" I asked, still trying to avoid eye contact.
"You, leaving. Why do you always feel the need to leave?" she asked.
"Please Alice. Stop leaving everyone behind. Stop leaving me behind. I need you." she said.
"People leave, Anna. People always leave. Every time I think things are going well, something bad will always happen." I replied.
"I am not leaving you. Am I? She asked.
" Yet. You didn't leave, yet. One day you will. One day you are going to wake up and realise this is not worth the time. One day you will wake up and decide to stop loving me." I said.
"and that's make it okay for you to leave instead? This is not fair, Alice. You know I love you." Anna said, holding my hands.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
"She told me the same thing. But look where I am now. My life is a mess." I said.
"It will always come to this right? It will always come back to her. I don't understand this, Alice. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I am not going to leave you like she did?" Anna voice cracked, I can see her eyes tearing up.
"She was my person. She still is." I said.
"Then what am I? What exactly do you think of me? Of us?" Anna asked.
"You are my saviour. I am leaving because it's easier, Anna. Please, let me go." I said, begging.
"Not this time. We can do this, Alice. We can do this together. We can both be happy. You have to trust me in this." Anna replied.
"I am sorry, Anna. I don't think I can do this. I am very sorry."
Without looking at her, I walk away.
***
Just a short update because this whole scene is replaying on my mind over and over again and it keeps distracting me from doing my work. So here you go. Have a nice day.
-Quinn.
